Being an introvert

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They say there are two types of personalities in this world, introverts and extroverts. Extroverts seem to be easily identifiable, while introverts not so much. Extroverts as we know them,bring so much colour and excitement into the world while the introverts hold reason for the world.

A world with only extroverts would mean, never ending parties and cheer, a noisy world as everyone would be talking at the same time and so much fun. On the downside, no one would actually stop and listen to the other and really not much work could be done.

Having an introverted human race would see the world get most of its work done and we would not have to worry about noise pollution as you already know the world would be quite quiet. On the downside, the world would be dangerously dull and with no one to cheer people up. God in His perfect wisdom knew, a perfect blend would only be achieved with the two. Isn’t God amazing? Didn’t He just think of everything?

I have always felt as an introvert many people do not understand me. For instance ,many people over the years have dubbed me a loner. I never understand why they feel the need to save me from this state. They will insist on being my friends, staying with me and as if that’s not enough indulge me in small talk. This gesture to me is always kind, however, “how do i put this without sounding mean? I don’t need saving. At all”. I am very fine being alone.

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This happens to be my favourite time as i relish and cherish every moment of it. It is in this time i get to recharge my batteries as time spent with people leaves me quite drained. I may be in a bus sometimes and see someone i know and pray silently they do not spot me and seat next to me, as i would be subjected to the torture of maintaining a conversation till we alight. Please do not get me wrong. I am not anti-social and in no way do i dislike people’s company. I do enjoy it, just not when my batteries are low.

This is just one facet of the million misunderstandings introverts have to be subjected to on a daily basis. I admit at first before i learnt about the different personalities, i thought that i needed to be like an extrovert to be fine,as this was what was deemed to be normal. Each time i tried to be one, nothing seemed harder than that. I would always wonder why another person got it so easily. hahahaha. The tragedy of naivety.

Recently i stumbled upon a group of introverts. I have never felt so understood in my life. Here were people just like me and going through the same issues of life. Everything i wanted to say to them was already taken out of my mouth. “That’s exactly how i feel and could have said” and “That’s totally me” i said to myself in excitement. It is with this, today i share tips on how to understand your introvert friends as shared by the introvert community*. We are not that complicated, just need a little more understanding. Enjoy the read.

1. We’re not necessarily shy.

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Shyness and introversion aren’t the same thing: shyness is the fear of other people judging you negatively, while introversion means you get overstimulated by certain types of socializing and busy environments.
2. Our “batteries” need recharging after being social.

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Socializing — especially in large groups or with people we don’t know well — drains us. If we suddenly become recluses and hardly talk to anyone for a few hours or days, please understand that we’re not angry or upset. Solitude is a must for us to maintain our energy and sanity.
3. Small talk is painful.

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We usually don’t know what to say and this topics seem so mundane. But we love connecting authentically or talking about big ideas.
4. We concentrate best when it’s quiet.

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On our jobs or at school, we do our best work when we have privacy, and there are minimal interruptions and noise.
5. There’s a lot going on inside our heads.

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It’s a scientific fact that our brains are different from the brains of extroverts. When information enters our brains, it travels a longer pathway and passes through more areas of the brain, including areas associated with self-reflection, empathy, planning, and evaluating. This means we process information more thoroughly and deeply.
6. Sometimes we drown in our own thoughts.

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Because of our deep processing of information, we can be professional over-thinkers, over-analyzers, and over-worriers.
7. Decisions can take time.

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We often can see problems from many different angles or perspectives, and we can imagine every possible outcome — good or bad — that could result from a choice. Sometimes this paralyzes us in indecision.
8. It can be hard to put our thoughts into words.

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We’re better thinkers than speakers. If you want to know what we really think, ask us to write about our thoughts. Or, ask us something and tell us we don’t have to answer right away — that gives us time to think and process.
9. Sometimes we get stuck in our heads.

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And we need a caring friend to draw us out.

10.Crowds and a lack of personal space can make us anxious.

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No personal space invaders, please.
11. Don’t judge us if you see us alone in public.

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A table for one at a restaurant or coffee shop gives us the chance to do what we do best — quietly observe.
12. Sometimes we just like to listen.

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If we’re quiet in a group or during a meeting at work, it probably means we’re just thinking about what everyone is saying. Want to know our thoughts? Ask us later, one-on-one, after we’ve had time to collect our thoughts.
13. Socializing in a group can leave us feeling lonely or bored.

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14. Even if we say no, we still like to be invited.

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We won’t attend every party or get-together, but it’s nice to know that someone was thinking of us. We need to know that we’re accepted and cared about, too.
15. We’d rather text than talk on the phone.

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Talking on the phone — especially with people we don’t know well — gives some of us introverts anxiety. Also, we rarely like to just chat, so if we call you, it’s probably for some reason.
16. Books are often our best friends.

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Reading carries us to our favorite place — our inner world of thoughts, feelings, and imagination.
17. Watching alone at home = a glorious way to spend the weekend.

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It’s not sad, it’s automatic recharge time.
18. Sometimes being in our “introvert bubble” —- i.e. focused inwardly —- is exactly where we want to be.

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So don’t pop it.
19. Other times, our solitude becomes painful loneliness.

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Introverts need people, too.
20. We don’t let just anyone into our lives.

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Our best friends and partners don’t just accept our introverted nature — they respect, support, and cherish it.
21. We love being “alone together.”

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Introvert relationship goal: cuddling with or sitting near your significant other — quietly, of course! — while reading a book, surfing the Internet, playing a video game, or watching a movie.
22. When we’re “fully charged,” we’re ready to take on the world!

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To be at our best, we must balance socializing and activity with solitude and introspection.

*www.introvertdear.com

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7 Responses

  1. Interesting read Ruth.

  2. Naomi says:

    There is nothing wrong with being an introvert,very very nice read.you are speaking to me.

  3. gayaochieng says:

    That explains someone we both love

  4. Bianka says:

    Still still enjoy reading this piece over and over again.Great Job twiny.

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