As a baby grows inside a mother’s womb, it does not know what to expect of the world. A world that remains alien to it until, it’s first cry. Not knowing much of the world, it sees a home and refuge in the one who bears it. It places its total trust on the two giants at that time smiling down upon it lovingly. As children, we cling unto our parents for dear life as we identify them as our protectors. We grow up idolizing them for that’s what they are to us at first, our small gods if not our all. We cannot imagine a world without them or a world where they would be anything less than perfect for us. Mother seems to be extraordinary and supernatural, always having solutions to all problems. She is a real life super hero and many of us forever wonder why the hit series ‘superman’ did not chose her first. Dear mother and father, you truly are our first love.
Great parents are what all of us envision. Everywhere we look and each article we read on parenthood has always described them in two words ‘guardian angels’. They hold a high status in society with their authority stemming from the word of the God. We are expected to obey and honour them without a shadow of doubt and this we do in obedience for it is what is expected of us. We are to take their words as gospel truth and not doubt. We are to follow their lead and never question. Can parents ever be wrong? The society would answer otherwise with the child if anything dubbed the bad one for not obeying the parents as the Ten Commandments direct.
But is this all true? Are parents always such glorious creatures without blame? Are their words forever true? Are their actions always right? Are their decisions always well reasoned? Are their instructions always correct? Do they always love us as they should? Do they care for us always more than anything in the world?
As i write this piece i cannot help but ponder on the unspoken truth which so many people hide so well behind their beautiful and handsome visages. The undesirable element of their lives that they would not want anyone to ever know about. The ugly truth about the reality of their parents twisted love and cruelty in their hands. Not everyone gets to have the perfect parents as we all hope for when all we have ever known is a parent is a protector, friend and love.
I see a small girl who adores her father beyond words, trusting in his protection blindly. Her eyes gaze in utter shock as he lifts her tiny skirt. She remains frozen for she does not know how to react for it is only him that she has known as her protector. She looks up to him in fear asking “Daddy daddy what are you doing? Daddy please stop” she cries as her undying trust for him is shattered. Yet another child barely ten years old is quietly doing her homework when suddenly her drunk mother walks in and orders her to go make some money for the two of them “Mummy i am doing my homework and i do not like what they make me do” she pleads desperately. She laughs as she scornfully states “You better get going now or you shall never go back to school”.
A young man looks at his mother talk playfully to his siblings, something that he has never experienced from time in memorial all he can remember is the hate the mother has showered on him for a crime does not know. He cannot help but wonder “Could it be that i came into this world that she hates me so much?”Two child cling on to their father’s leg as they beg him not to leave them for the do not know who will take care of them. A plea that goes unconsidered as he shuts the door behind them forever.
As a backstreet quack reaches into the womb to pull out the unborn child, the baby tries to hide further into the womb not to be caught. His little heart pounds in his chest as he silently prays to be saved from this cruel act. He tries to call out “Mummy please don’t kill me. I promise to be a good boy when i come into the world.”The cry is not loud enough for the quack captures him and ends a life no yet begun.
Terrified children hiding at a corner peep through a hole as they watch their mother to get hacked to death by the one they call father. Their hearts terrified beyond description. They do not understand why father would ever do this. The elder one grabs the small one and orders her to pass through the window. As he pushes her out a loud bang is made on their door. He pushes the other out saying “Hurry daddy is coming to get us”. He manages to get out of the window before the father catches up to him. Who knew the one who gave me life was the one who would someday attempt to take it away from me. The elder one carries the smaller one blinded by tears as he watches what used to be their home go up in flames. On this day he ceases being a child but becomes a parent to the little sister. Stolen childhood.
“Mother, father what did i ever do, for you to hate me this much? All i ever wanted was to be loved, to be protected and cared for. Was this too much to ask? Was this a burden to you?”
The unspoken hurts that these children go through are far too great to fathom. Hurt has a funny way of developing in each and every one of us. A common fruit borne from it is the defensive character. It would seem it is always on overdrive, who can blame them when the first lesson they were taught is to protect themselves by all means necessary. In the process, not all decisions made are wise or sound, as they only thought it was for the best, after all mother and father were never there to teach them better and so the cruel world did.
As if this is not enough, the unforgiving world constantly judges them for their actions and choices in life not stopping for a second to question their life story. No one seems to be willing to play the devil’s advocate, in fact as far as the world is concerned, they must have been the black sheep of their families. How harshly our world judges.
Hidden deep within the hard crust, perfectly crafted over the years is a bleeding heart full of unspoken hurts and sorrows of what could have been but never was. They live in pain and bitterness as they ask why it had to be them and why the only source of refuge had to be the thief of their innocent childhood. A heart that forever cries to be set free of the bondage of hate, bitterness and resentment.
I smile as i begin to write this paragraph as i think of the one who can never keep us away from himself for not even our filthy pasts can keep us away from his love. As the unforgiving world turns its back on them, our loving prince of peace, Jesus in His splendour, opens up his arms and says “Come just as you are. I do not care about anything you have done or not done. I just want with as you are, don’t even wipe those tears or re-do your make up. Come let me take that burden you carry. I will give you rest and peace instead” with no judgement or detest for what their life has been, only love. Oh sweet Jesus, our God of second, third, fourth and a million chances how loving you are. I thank you for you never forget a single soul.
It is my humble prayer that for us who are yet to bring small adorable babies into this world, we shall be the best we can be to our children as we raise them in love. They really do not have a lot of expectations just for us to love, care and protect them as parents ought to.This is my solemn promise to my dear unborn children.