THE FUTILITY OF SELFISH LOVE
I recently,received a message from my sister that stated:
‘ Intense!! Profound picture right?? Powerful is an understatement. This is the story of many women. A woman who will give her all to a man who is incapable of reciprocating her love, selflessness, sacrifices and strength. A woman giving her all to a man who is dead intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. She gives some more because she believes if she tries harder ‘he will change’. He doesn’t. He sucks out all the life in her. Some women are lucky they get out of this parasitic relationships/unions. Others – not so lucky die in them. Some die physically, others spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Woman, who art thou? You are the perfect image of your Creator. You are LOVE! You are better of alone than in dead relationships which sooner or later will leave you all skin and bones, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Woman, who art thou?’
The message in the picture is absolutely intense and i could not help but stare at the picture for a while. The feeling that gripped my heart was that one of utter sorrow and sadness for the many in such a situation. To my mind i saw nothing else but a selfish kind of love. Isn’t it unfortunate how it is the most common type of love in the world and worse as clearly stated, many people die in it?
I would however love to differ in the fact that it is only the woman who goes through it, some men do but the most affected remain to be women as we give our all with such sincerity that i cannot explain in words. Men would not understand what it is for a woman loves with her whole being and her soul.
I once heard that for everything God created the devil created its identical replica, a copycat. In our case it would be while God defines love as selfless as He is to us, the devil defines his love as selfish. Does that sound familiar to anyone? It would seem nowadays no one wants to be in love if that love is not serving their every need.
Look, the vows said at the altar are as good as they serve someone, once the vows require one to forget self and focus on the other they are offended and start moving on as it is no longer convenient for them. A woman who adds a few kilos for the sake of the beautiful children God gives us, suddenly becomes un-appealing to a husband, forcing his selfish self to find a younger, slimmer and beautiful version of the wife. A spouse afflicted by a terminal disease with no fault of their own being served with the exit of the healthier spouse hoping to find a better stress free and healthier spouse. A bored spouse issuing divorce papers for they did not sign up for boredom. A husband who, loves the services offered by the wife more than he loves her as a person. A spouse who does not even think twice when they cheat for after all it is in the nature of men to do so. A spouse who never provides enough yet requires everything to be in order when they get home. A spouse who is more than willing to take the first step out when a storm hits rather than stay and fight. How another only looks as appealing as the digits in their bank account and so much more.
There is nothing else in these actions other than selfishness. It has always been about me and if it can’t be about me, it’s time to find the next host to feed from. Selfishness never gets satisfied, it keeps getting another each time it drains the current host. Same script different cast is always it’s motto. Guess that’s why despite having 10boyfriends or 10girlfriends such a person is never satisfied and will never be satisfied. A combination of selfless love and selfish love in a couple obviously draining the one with all the love to offer, thus the warning against being unequally yoked with your partner. How truly sad that we never listen.
Then comes in selfless love. How truly beautiful this love is, founded in God’s agape love. A perfect love so many people have not yet experienced. Selfless love says your needs are before mine. I live to serve you. That my love is not conditional on your always being young or beautiful, as i saw beyond that, i saw and loved your soul too. It says you come first in my life before everything else. That i see you and despite us being 100years you remain to be the prettiest in the world. It says i will share with you every inch of my life. You mean more than earthly things to me, see i can lose that job, that meal, that comfort, just to live with you in the forest if i have to. Though the storms are fighting us from all angles, i will hold on to you for dear life for better for worse and if i die doing so let it be. No sickness is too hard for selfless love, it seats with you all the sick days and becomes your personal doctor in the day and night. It is that good that a year with selfless love is enough to satisfy you for a lifetime if that person died. Selfless love is always satisfied and even when it thinks of cheating it thinks no one would be better to cheat with other than you, as you are enough in every way.
How so lovely selfless love is. It is even more amazing as it is renewed every day and it’s sustenance never failing. There is one aspect however to attaining selfless love and that aspect is God through His son Jesus Christ. He is the author of selfless love as He is love itself. A man desiring to experience such an amazing love, would have to first accept Jesus into their heart so that Jesus may teach them and supply them with selfless love for all around them and best, the love of their life. Some of us start innocently believing the love the devil offered was perfect and we say “i am so in love i have never felt this way before. Everything about him or her is perfect” yet when put to test this love does not succeed. Didn’t we think it would last forever at that first moment? It’s at that point the fakeness of the devil’s kind of love is exposed. In Jesus Christ however, we get a love that can never be shaken for we get it from the source of love and creator of love. He sustains it for you even when you cannot do it yourself. He renews it each morning. He gives you a perfect love story just as He had designed it to be.
How so very tired i am of selfish love and how i pray all women and men would too. We can get so much more and experience a love story that has never been written in the world for our mortal minds could never imagine it. God offers such a love for a lifetime why not ask him for it? One of the things i love about God is that He never imposes Himself in anyone’s life despite His obvious ability to so. And so despite His desires that we all get to experience His perfect love in our relationships, he offers us a choice, to take up his selfless love or the selfish love. The choice is yours, what will it be?