A THOUGHT ON OUR EXPECTATIONS OF LOVE
It has been a while since I wrote about the famous topic of love. I have always loved love. It is the most beautiful thing in this dark world. I thank God, that the One it is and belongs to, can never be defeated and so love will never end, fail or be corrupted.
I have been wondering about people’s expectations of love for a while now. As I was thinking about it I had this thought in my mind. What if people’s idea of love had never been corrupted by social media, the tv, radio, romantic novels, people’s opinions and all sources that claim to know what love is? What if the topic of love was left like a precious gem for a couple to find on their own? Kinda like how you only get to know what a plane ride feels like only when you are in it and never before.
What is my point in this? All the illegitimate sources that described love for us never got it right. And because that’s the definition of love we got early on, all our expectations of love were formed within us. A tall dark and handsome prince, the happily ever after tales, the love that never dies even if it means breaking a marriage and so on. I mean who has not fantasized of an Alejandro in their lives? All the expectations of love were imprinted in us long ago.
Then when we actually do get ourselves in real life relations with the opposite sex, the script does not run as we saw in our favourite movie. I mean we get to see every single detail of another human being who is not even our blood relative and have to build a life, new life with them. You have no idea about their background and what they have been through. You have no idea what life has taught them and how they think on all things.
They have ingrained character flaws that your mere words are not enough to change. You quickly learn that it is actually true, roses have thorns too. And the most interesting feature is the mirror your spouse becomes for your life. Like you didn’t know how impatient you were till they kept repeating something you didn’t like. At your parent’s home this didn’t seem to bother you coming from you siblings but as for him it is the greatest offense. Each and every expectation and dream you ever had is poked in every second and within no time there are no more expectations left.
Is this love you begin to ask? Most times we conclude in the negative “He or she does not love me anymore!” Where is my fairy tale happily ever after? Where is my tall dark handsome prince or Alejandro? It is simple, they never existed!
If only we had never had so many pre-engraved expectations of love, I am truly convinced the world would be almost divorce free if we all went to relationships and marriages without expectations. It’s a lack of the true definition of love that had us all have expectations. What if we never were meant to have any single expectation in the first place? What if love is supposed to be expectation free?
I always say when in doubt of what true love is please look at Jesus Christ on the cross. His definition of love was and will always be, one of selflessness for His love (mankind) and no single expectation in return. If Jesus Christ had, had any expectation from us, we all know He would have struck everyone dead that day for defying Him, the God of the universe.
Think about it, when people enter marriage and find out it is not what they expected, don’t we file for divorce? And so when Jesus Christ came on earth wouldn’t it have been reasonable for Him to have expected we would love Him in return? But instead He had no single expectation in His love for us.AT ALL! Even as we cursed Him and ridiculed Him on that cross, He lovingly said “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”.
My thought on love is, what if we did not have any expectations of our wives or husbands or the ones we are courting? What if we looked to our individual love stories as blank canvasses where we have the opportunity to paint our unique love story? What if instead of always demanding what ‘I’ want, we would replace that with ‘WE’ for everything?
What if and more importantly we would focus on the real purpose of love in this world? Was love only designed for us to be happy and enjoy each other? What was in God’s mind when He granted us His love to behold together? Why is it that we should have partners in our lives that come closer than our own blood parents and siblings? What is it that God wanted us to learn or prepare for before He returned? Think about it.